Thursday, April 17, 2014

Passion, Passion, Passion! Period.

What is your passion? what are you deeply most, singularly most, unconditionally most passionate about?
My grammar must be wrong in the about sentence, but implore you to see the passion with which I am asking you about your the MOST Passionate thing you are Passionate about? What is the thing that will pop up in your mind when I say what do you like most? ( Apologies, the passionate thing will not pop up in brain, when someone just asks a question, it's there in you, it travels with you, you raise armies to defend it, you fight tooth and nail to just have it. What did you want to do in your life when you are a kid?Let's leave the persons we are passionate about for a moment here.Okay! I will start with mine...

                   I was singularly most passionate about drawing and good music with good lyrics.I wanted to become a cartoonist, animator and any damn thing related to drawing. I was obsessed. Drawing is an expression. Music is an expression. Lyrics are undeniably expression. I love dance, its a form of expression. I was passionate about all of them. But I used to love drawing, people used to pour their General Science notebooks on my desk, so that I may draw the diagrams of Neurons, Nephrons, Dermis, Epidermis, kidneys and other kinds of stuff.

 Dear darling, what the heck are you supposed to say here? why did you bring up this topic? I mean is it even necessary to discuss what you love most , when every one is perfectly happy without knowing your passions? I mean don't kid yourself, you have a page for yourself, you have people who like the write ups here, but hey! give me a break! this is not a story and who the hell are you to have your auto biography anyway? You don't even have courage to put up your name under your bloody write up.

  So, yes before I move on with my passionate discussion about passion.. some one asked me, do you love your job. .. I didn't immediately say yes!! I love it!! I drool for it. I just stopped, thought, well yeah, I definitely would not know what to do with myself if I don't have a job, its secure, I get a pretty good pay check every single month, so I remotely like my job and  respect it, but love it passionately? Whom am I kidding? If I had that much passion in it, by heaven or earth I would have made a gem out of myself. So, my painful soul searching started with this wonderful question from an amazing person.

 Now back to the square..  so I used to draw in my summar vacations, music on and sit there in the corner with all your drawing pads and sheets on and then with any damn pencil I can lay my hands on and off I went in for one week, I enjoyed it, breakfast break, lunch break, dinner break all three added up to (2:30 hrs at the most) and sleep break was little long (8hrs) rest of the day I used to draw,good or bad.. just draw.. Will that kind of passion go well with anyone who is sane enough to be practical? no!!!!!!! what if your grades go down after schools re-open because of this? get some life you moron! ( I am actually living right there) and with that kind of passion in your eyes you  will never listen frankly you don't hear anything. And that attitude pretty much irritates any person who is practical enough to be sane and off went my drawing and all of them in the fire. I had to run, rush, cry ( no I haven't cried. I was damn hurt , but didn't cry) rescued last bits of paper that was being eaten up and put those half burnt drawings in a dairy. Yes!! I wrote in a dairy, My hurt,
My hatred, My love, My tears and My Happiness, paper was my best friend and I am lost in a new found passion. Expression is essence of life, how you express yourself is up to you. 

           Why is world so scared of self expression? why do we after all those stone ages, primitive ages still drool for survival? we are safe in our homes and as long as all five fingers of our right hand goes into our mouth for three times a day why do we have to worry about that extra paying job we don't love ? ( May be to build a duplex house, or to buy a Range Roover after life time's tiring work)I mean how many of us really know what we are really passionate about? what we love? May be I went too far, how many of us have guts to just think about the things we love? we just exist in impulses day in and day out. Off comes my neighbor and says "Heyyyyy!! That's a lovely bike. Speak to yourself he/she doesn't mean it with all their heart. He/She secretly in the deepest recess of their hearts hate you and you do the same, and yet you live to impress him and he to you. We work our asses off to impress complete Arses, whom we hate so passionately all our lives.

Bottom line:  Passion is something that you dare the entire world for!

P.S: I am not that courageous yet. To some extent I am, but not completely.

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